How To Make Spooky Snake Calzones (For Halloween)
[robotic voice] greetings hu-mans, we are dingaloids of the planet dingus 007X
we have come to celebrate Halloween
we will make spooky, scary calzones
[robotic beeping]
we have observed your culture
it appears you enjoy dancing to high and frenetic music
we shall participate in this during the episode of Pretty Good... Cooking
Okay we're making spooky snake calzones for halloween... ers
Halloweiners
uh you gotta use dough, pizza dough, you can make it
we've made it before in various forms like that video
or that video
but we were lazy and we just bought some from the store
it was 99 cents
what a deal
you need to preheat your oven to 350
and you need to put parchment paper on some baking sheets
I ran out of parchment paper so I'm just going to grease the other pan
it's gonna be
not that good
now you want to take your dough
it might be easiest to pour this out into a bowl
almost...
got it
you got your dough, it's nice and tacky
eugh...
uh you might want to flour your hands like I have not done
I'm gonna do that
when you flour your hands it won't stick to you as much
alright, some flour for my hands
you can either roll it out or spin it out, however you wanna do it
it's just a matter of getting it into an oblong and flatter shape
you can stretch it like that
you can let it hang
but we want it to be very, very oblong, much longer than wide
a rolling pin might make this easier
actually using a placemat might make this easier
we'll... jesus...
put some flour on that surface
I need more room
no we're going... oh shit
you gotta flour everything
that's the way of the breadstuffs
roll that out a bit
long and spooky
I'm really glad we bought premade dough
[unintelligible cursing]
alright it just occurred to me that I probably could have done this on the sheet
which'd been way easier
alright
there's one
we're gonna make two of em
so that we can share food with our vegetable friends
[frenetic dance music]
I rolled out another one!
yes!
I'm gonna chop some veggies: a pepper!
a tomato!
an onion!
some broccoli
and for the meat one I got some pepperoni here
it's the fancy kind
wowww
a fine, fine chop. A fine mince... [unintelligible]
Cameraman: you want to say what you're doing? What you're about to do?
Cheeseman: it's pretty self explanatory
[banging sounds]
it's mozzarella
cheesy
[cheese theme plays]
I am a professional
Wow
[singing] I'm chopping veg-ies, veg-gies
not too much, I mean
you want some obviously
but you can't overload these things or there'll be no room
so it's probably like less than a quarter cup of each thing
oh yeah like this is a pizza variation
so you can put whatever you want in it
background voice: put it on the piz-zaaa
pepperoni is weeeeird
it's been sitting out overnight
whoopsie!
Kevin: also apparently it's not pepperoni Phil: some kind of salami
Kevin: yeah, cam was disappointed in his selection
[frenetic dance music]
apparently authentic calzones don't have sauce in em
you put it on the side
so we're gonna do that. Also I think it will taste better that way
so
uhh
let's start with some cheese!
no, let's not.
let's start with the other things first
so we're gonna spread out toppings
you want em mainly in the middle
some kind of salami, we don't know what kind
and I'm going to add some banana peppe---uhhh
pepperoncinis [laughs]
banana pepperoncinis!
[dog whining]
shaddup
next up I'm gonna do the veggies
I got broccoli, tomato, and peppers and onions
that's a lot of onions
hope that works out... don't know if it will
it's cheesin' time
it's probably too much cheese
someone...some would say not possible
but it is possible
[cheese theme plays]
additional cheese: some parmesan
flavor improvement
now we're gonna make mistakes!
this has a high chance of screwing up
we're gonna fold it over
like you're making a biiig
taco
oh, it's stickin
the heat of the oven strikes back
eh that's okay, we'll just keep rolling until it makes some kinda sense
weeelll that's a little bit phallic
eeehhh heh heh hey
so since you're trying to make a snake
you need to shape it into an "S"
for "snake"
I'm not that good at this
or anything
you know that, that might be good enough
I'm happy with it
this other one's going to be f***ed
or not... or yes
probably yes
my calzone rolling game is not on point
I'm...I'm basically trying to tuck the seam under
and stretch it out a bit into a spooky snake
but really it's just a calzone so don't be afraid, children
umm this one's going to be a spooky worm
fat assed snake
shit
whatever
some cheese
um
for the eyes you could use olives but I don't think I have any
so I'm gonna use a couple of peppers on this one
spooky [distant burping sound]
and a little bit of red pepper for the tongue
Kevin: that is a fat snake
glibbity bip bip
ah yea, salami eyes
how nice
I know they look retarded
Do we wanna egg wash them?
oh let's egg wash them, might as well
you need an egg
egg wash uh... gives your snake a little color
it'll look like a golden snake
instead of a bread snake
need a little bit of water. Just a splarsh
beating it together
and start painting your calzoney
I did not do a good job. At all.
but! I don't care!
I'm so glad this is called pretty good cooking
sometimes we don't even meet the pretty good part, though
Kevin: cooking that happens
Phil: [laughing] that's what we should rename it
I have a feeling these are going to make more than half an hour to cook [laughing]
cause they're so big and fat
ok and what the f*** ever
I'm putting em in!
godspeed you breadsnakes!
oh god
we'll... we'll see how it goes
we're gonna check em after half an hour
alright hope that works
[frenetic dance music]
I... didn't set a timer aaaand I don't know how much time's transpired
but they're done AND
they're spooky looking
here we have a nice breadsnake
who looks like he swallowed a tube of sausage
and this snake
he turned into a slug
uhh...[laughs] whatever
we lost our meaty eyes
we'll just replace them
oww
whatever
we're gonna let em rest a few minutes
before we chow down
I'm gonna get some sauce warming up
it's just premade marinara, nothing exciting.
just gonna dump a jar of sauce in a pot
marinara. Classic. Traditional.I
I'm gonna laugh if someone was like:
"woulda been since if you made your own marinara sauce"
I didn't make the dough either so ha!
we'll get that... oh no
[ignitor clicking]
I think this burner's lighter's going out
[clicking continues]
well, heat it up. You can do it. It's not hard
unless your burner doesn't light
[frenetic dance music]
let's see... let's see how it came out
[laughs]
it lost an eye!
oh wow... [laughs]
daaamn
they look kinda soggy
it puffed up so much!
maybe a serrated knife would have been more appropriate
let's check out the meaty one
oh man, it smells so good
yeeeah
so it looks like the meat one worked out for us better
and we'll get ourselves some marinara
for dipping
and we'll probably burn the shit out of ourselves, but...
can't wait any longer
holy shit
that's so good!
and hot. Holy s*** it's too hot
I love it, I'm gonna make that again
there you have it: calzones
spooky!
Happy halloween. Hope those weird aliens don't hang out again
[ambient electronic music]
Attention hu-mans!
we have enjoyed partying with you
we must return to Dingus 007-X
Spooky calzones for the Halloween season! Better late than never, right? New videos every Tuesday! (And sometimes Friday!) Did you like the video? Please like and subscribe for more! What should we make next? Let us know in the comments! INGREDIENTS: (makes one calzone) Premade Pizza Dough Flour 1 Egg Fill with anything you’d put on a pizza. Don’t add too many water retaining veggies or your calzone will get really soggy like ours did. Serve with sauce on the side for authenticity. Facebook: http://facebook.com/prettygoodcooking Google+: http://plus.google.com/112370174042461122338 Instagram: http://instagram.com/prettygoodcooking Twitter: http://twitter.com/PrettyGoodCookn ♫ Bass Kidz - Radiation http://youtube.com/watch?v=gizHm97mqxQ http://facebook.com/basskidz http://youtube.com/basskidztampa ♫ "Rye" by Eric Lam Eric Lam Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ericlamproducer Eric Lam SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/ericlamproducer ♫ "Bounce!" by SUBSHOCK SUBSHOCK FB: https://www.facebook.com/subshockmusic SUBSHOCK SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/subshock ♫ Contra - Final Fantasy http://youtube.com/watch?v=DQ6VzftlPV0 http://facebook.com/theofficialcontra http://twitter.com/dj_contra "Bushwick Tarantella Loop", "Discovery Hit", "One-eyed Maestro", "Space Battle Loop" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/